And I was particularly amazed, in 1947, to finally find, at last and long length, that psychoanalysis not only did not work but made patients worse.

Now, that's how dumb I have been on this. I actually believed, in 1932 - because I studied Freud; I studied this under the tutelage of one of his more brilliant pupils, a Commander Thompson. Commander Thompson was sent there by the US Navy to study with Freud for a long period of time and to come back and do something with psychoanalysis with the US Navy. He was practically the first and only authority in the United States. There's hardly anybody else in the United States did more than maybe get a curt thank-you letter from Sigmund Freud. And they have taken these very curt thank-you letters and have established their complete and full reputation since. That and a Viennese accent.

You see, in the United States, it's a little bit different than here. You cannot possibly succeed in the field of the mind if you were to call it the field of the mind or anything like that - you have to have an accent, and the phonier the better. You can get these accents; it's easy to pick up the accent. As a matter of fact, it takes longer to pick up the accent than it does the information you use. But once the accent has been picked up, why, you could be a howling success there. It's very wonderful.

Well, anyway, not wandering off the subject a bit, imagine my embarrassment - because I'd gone on till 1947 supposing there was such a thing as a psychotherapy. Well, I had my off-brand of this sort of thing which was mixed up with hypnotism and sort of based upon the endocrine reflex...the endocrine alarm-reaction system of the body, and so on. There was... I had a therapy worked out. And I just hadn't paid very much attention to Commander Thompson, I'm afraid, because what I thought was psychoanalysis is suddenly discovered by me in 1947 to be a wild, wild distance from psychoanalysis.

I was proceeding logically in one fashion or another and I - as far as sexual activity is concerned and that sort of thing, this was just wonderful. I mean, Thompson had come back and had said so often that Freud really meant social, "the social part of man," when he was saying "sexual part of man" that I just skipped over all that. And an awful big joke on me: I had never turned around and found, when he said "libido theory," exactly what he meant. He meant libido theory. He didn't mean the birds and bees or anything. He didn't mean anything off-track. He meant sex! I've read his papers on it. And I read another interesting paper by that gentleman, by the way, that would fascinate you and you want to read it some time.

By the way, if you want to pass a psychiatric examination, just get all of Freud's papers and memorize the dates and the titles and then go before the American College of Psychiatry and you can become a psychiatrist. You don't have to know what's in them. There isn't anything in them anyway.