Refund and Reparation

It is possible to override your bank. Once in a while I feel like saying to somebody on staff or something like that - sure, maybe they're awful caved in - I feel like saying to some of them, "You don't have to obey a reactive mind. You don't have to follow its orders. It is not absolutely necessary that you be crazy, or that you be chicken about something of the sort."

So I well remember being thrown into a whole chain of engrams many, many years ago, 1949, and going up to Bethursday Naval Hospital and my total medical history was totally medical. It never had anything to do with psychiatric, but I was in a horrible state of restimulation. The auditor had thrown me clear back into a prenatal and here we went. See? God almighty, I didn't know whether the world was falling in or going apart because the auditor got me all the way back down the train and then agreed with my mother. Oh man, that was rough, never brought me up to present time, never said another word.

Next morning I was walking down the corridor of Bethesda Naval Hospital and I'll be darned if that corridor wasn't moving itself into four, five different points of the compass, one after the other. First it was going north and then it was going northeast, and then it was going northwest, you know? It was heading different directions, actually physically heading different directions and I said, "Boy, I've had it. I - I don't think I can go on, not another inch. After all, I've - I've had it," I said to myself and I leaned shakingly and horrifiedly up against a door. Couldn't even get on to the eye clinic where I was supposed to have an examination. And I looked up out of the corner of my eye and I saw the sign "Psychiatrist." And I took myself by the nape of the neck and I straightened myself up and I squared myself into a straight line and walked on down to the eye clinic.

That's easily the worst one I ever had, easily. But Dianetics had already pulled me up to a point where they certified me as totally fit for combat duty by rank and grade from total disability. I'd already gone through this; I'd already achieved this gain.

But I got a reality at that moment that has been a reality on me in research ever since. Two things: You don't have to do what your bank says. And the other one is: You don't have to add your own case in to any computation you make.